Snapshots of Fall

 

It seems as if fall has arrived here in that the nights are cool and the colors are beautiful!  We have a frost coming in the next few days and that will officially put an end to the garden season.  Bryce and I have been super busy planting peonies in the field but I did take some time recently to make a fall arrangement with some of our dahlias.  I love it paired with the pink and orange pumpkins!  

There are yellows, reds and oranges popping up all over the farm.

The dahlias (the ones that didn't rot) are looking beautiful.  I know that flower growers are always trying to get dahlias to bloom earlier for sales, but for me, I love that they are a fall flower.  Personally, I think they are at their most glorious in the late fall.  

We've planted a few trees one of which is either pure foolishness or hope for the future since it is literally barely two feet tall!

We've even had some fires!

We are still thick in peony planted, putting the garden to bed, and doing all of our other fall chores but trying to take some time out to enjoy the beauty of fall!

Favorite Things #62

It's been a while since I did a favorite things post and technically this isn't about a thing, but rather a spot in our house.  When we renovated, and made a new bathroom, the old hall bathroom became our closet.  It's a walk in closet, with a window, and while it's not ginormous, it's perfect for us.  I had picked up a little chest/side table at a garage sale thinking I would use it in the library, but once the room came together, there really wasn't a use for it.  However, it works perfectly in our closet.  The drawers hold various closet type things and I love having a lamp in the closet.  

Speaking of the lamp, it's definitely one of my favorite things.  It was originally in Grace's nursery and I just haven't been able to give it up because I adore it.  The embroidered frogs!  The pink and green color scheme!  Since it doesn't fit in just anywhere, the closet is the perfect place because who cares if it's whimsical and fit for a child's room?  

All in all, it's a sweet spot in our house even though it is just a closet!

Time Will Tell

Harris came home for the weekend!  It was a bit of a last minute decision on his part, spurred on by his friend Gordon, who was also coming home.  He found a Grayhound bus out of downtown Pittsburgh and managed to navigate the entire ordeal (it was cancelled, rescheduled, cancelled again and rebooked for 6am) without any help from us.  It was so good to see his face, hug his neck and really talk to him as we do not get a lot of communication during the week from him!

Ya'll, as of right now, he seems to be doing solidly well.  I can't really describe it because it's not like he says he's having the time of his life, or that he has met an amazing group of lifelong friends, or even that he loves all his classes but rather he seems to be slow and steady and solid.  As of right now, understanding it can all change tomorrow, he is right where he should be.  Which feels good in this moment in time.

As we roll in to the second month of both children being gone to school, I find that we have sort of settled into a routine that's punctuated by moments of missing the kids and the life they brought to the house.  I find that I mostly just want to know ALL THE STUFF.  What are they doing?  Who are they with?  How are classes?  How are they feeling?  etc., etc., etc.  (As it stands, I get a decent amount of information from Grace and next to nothing from Harris :))

Immediately after they left, I did a lot of looking back at our parenting, trying to figure out what I would do differently, what we maybe got right, what didn't matter, and what did.  But the difficult conclusion that I came too was that I just don't know yet.  There's still so much to unfold for our children, and while we are crazy in love with them, and so proud of them for so very much, they are not perfect, because they are human.  This time, off on  their  own  for the first time, is when  they  will  figure  a lot of  stuff  out about who they want to be, what they will  take from their  childhood, and what they  won't.  

21 years into parenting there are some lessons that I seem to have had to learn over and over again!  One of them is to let them fail and do the hard stuff on their own.  So while I want to insert myself and "help" them by making things easier I'm trying to step back and let them find their way (its really hard for me!).

When Harris' original bus ticket, that he found and purchased, was delayed and he was going to have to get to the bus station at 4:30 am my initial gut response was to book him a ticket on a private bus that I knew would leave on time so that he wouldn't be in downtown in the middle of the night (is that even safe?), wouldn't have to worry about sleeping through his alarm (he's a heavy sleeper) and wouldn't have to figure out how to even get from campus to the bus station in the middle of the night (buses don't run, Lyfts are expensive).  But I took a deep breath and let it go*, and guess what?  He made it work and I'm 100% sure he grew and matured in that bit of chaos.  If I had stepped in, it would have all been easier but ultimately it wouldn't have helped him in the long term.  And if he had missed the bus?  A good lesson in that as well.  

All that to say, I guess, is that most of our parenting decisions were with the long term in mind and I'm glad that we mostly stuck to that but it also means we are still seeing it unfold.  Of course, there I things I wish we had done differently (volunteered more as the kids got older, kept phones out of rooms or pushed them back even later, had them do more work at home and on the farm, I could go on).  There have been moments where I wondered where we went wrong and moments where I thought we had the best children in the whole wide world.  Ultimately, I think that's parenting.  It's hard, wonderful, heartbreaking, fulfilling, worrisome and exhilarating and I'm ever so slowly realizing that it doesn't end when they become "adults."

Our children are not the smartest, the most athletic, the most gifted, or the most popular (those aren't the things we put time into) but they are out there, doing their thing steadily and confidently, and I hope kindly.  I'm super proud of them for that.  They will fail, and they will succeed but I hope most of all they persevere.  To feel confident in who they are and their abilities, because that will affect everything- who they choose as a partner, how they live their life, how well they do their job.  If we gave them anything, I hope we gave them the space for that.  Time will tell.  

*Actually, Bryce deserves the most credit for keeping a steady head, as always.