Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Identity Crisis



Back when I first had Grace (almost 11 years ago!) and Bryce and I decided that I would stay at home with our children, I went through a bit of an identity crises.  Suddenly, I didn't know how to dress anymore, I didn't know how to keep my house in order, and frankly, I was really overwhelmed with the whole baby thing.  It sort of felt like my old life had ended and I wasn't sure how to go about starting this new, wonderful, but scary, one.


I recently came across a journal where I wrote my goals down for this "new" life and it made me smile. It's a tiny bit a lot embarrassing and totally cheesy but I loved reading it and remembering where I was.  When I read these out loud to Bryce he graciously said that he thought I had accomplished my goals (though no one has ever really called me chic).  I realized that for me it's not so much about accomplishing them as it is the process of figuring out who I am and who I want to be.  At the time, I clearly thought that if I looked put together that might help me feel put together (often very true!).  

One thing is for sure though, having Grace did change my life in the most wonderful way possible.

P.S.  I had a hard time hitting publish on this post.  Isn't it funny that I share so much on this blog but this feels very personal and different!


8 comments:

  1. Amazing! I am 23 but when I have kids I genuinely want to be the kind of mother you are. (And you are totally chic!) xxx

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  2. I definitely have my "what would Anna do?" moments. You were a role model for me to stay home.

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  3. I experienced those EXACT same feeling three years ago when my twins were born. I still feel some of the things you wrote about 11 years ago! I think when I get it figured out they will enter school and I will have yet another identity crisis!

    Thanks for sharing.

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  4. Emma- Thank you, you are so kind and that made me smile from ear to ear and then tear up a bit.

    Leah- You are too sweet and you are an awesome Mom to those two adorable babies of yours! I'm so glad you are at home to take in every minute (good and bad!).

    Amy- You are right about when they go to school! And twins! Amazing.

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  5. You are indeed chic! I love finding things from the past like that. It seems that goal set you on the right path. Yay!

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  7. How incredible to have this journal entry! special...special...special! It's awesome that you surpassed your goals! :) Your the best wife and mother!

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  8. Thank you for sharing this. I'm a new mom and am still thinking about what kind of mom I will be and what kind of mom I want to be. I have read your blog long before I became a mom. I kept reading because I wanted to be able to keep up with and also look back on your posts. From the creative projects to the intelligent reflections, it's truly something. I admire you very much!

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